Imagine this scenario: it is a day before the wedding. The band
has been booked, the bridesmaids’ outfits are ready, the catering is paid for, you
are having drinks with the girls when suddenly you have anxiety and say that
you can’t go through with it. Family members ask you what is wrong; you say you
don’t know. You have mere hours before you become a wife. The groom-to-be is
shocked and does not understand what is happening. The transition is so bizarre
that one moment you are laughing with the girls and the next moment you are crying
over the drink in your hand. What do you do?
Handling wedding day anxiety
** You do nothing
for the moment except be with her. Don’t try to explain things; it will go in
one ear and out the other. Calm her down by telling her that you understand how
hard it is to leave home.
** Don’t
blame yourself. It has nothing to do with you. Be rational. Hold her and say
that it is all right to cry on the night before you get married. After all, it
is a huge thing to leave your parents’ home and change guard.
** Put a
temporary hold on the catering until you know whether the event is on or off.
Remember caterers start planning weeks ahead of time and they don’t do anything
without a fat deposit; don’t do it too late.
** If hours
later you are still fearful and don’t know the cause of it, put the wedding on
hold. It is easier to lose some of your deposits than undo or annul a marriage.
It may even be that once you have cancelled everything that the fear dissipates
and you find yourself with just two witnesses at the Justice of the Peace. It
may be the fear of change rather than finding fault with your partner which one
is sometimes apt to do. If on the morning of the wedding your partner laughs
off her anxiety from the previous day and seems fine, you know you have crossed
that bridge and are set for the marriage to take place. The fear and confusion
is akin to a new mother who does not know what to expect and wants the baby but
does not want to give birth.
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